This repository collects resources related to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) framework.

The first few subdirectories contain formatted transcipts from various seminars:

• 1_Basics - San Fransisco Seminar
• 2_Training - CNVC.org Training
• 3_Advanced - EQI.org 2-Day Intensive

4_Other-Resources contains other resources, such as lists of written works, podcasts, presentations, and works by related authors.

This document contains a series of quick references and summaries of key concepts.

We live in a world in which violence has become more and more accepted as the norm. It’s all around us. From wars between nations to crime on the street, and even imposing on our everyday existence, violence manifests itself both explicitly and implicitly. Yet for many people, the very idea of violence seems foreign. They are not involved in physical confrontations or abuses, and thus they believe that violence is not present. But the reality is that whenever we become disconnected from our compassionate nature, whenever our hearts are not devoid of hatred in all of its forms, we have a tendency to act in ways that can cause pain for everyone in our lives, including ourselves.

Nonviolence, then, does not refer to the mere absence of physical harm. It is a way of life that takes its lead from a compassionate and connected heart, and can guide us toward a more complete and happy way of being. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Nonviolence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our very being.” It is a practice rooted in understanding, in living honestly, and in acting empathically with all beings. Of course this starts with the self. We must first understand and act empathically towards ourselves in order to impact the world in wonderful and compassionate ways. This means cultivating nonviolence in every action and being present to our own needs and feelings in each and every moment.

NVC Instruction Self-Guide

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC - BayNVC

• All human beings share the same needs
• All actions are attempts to meet needs
• Feelings point to needs being met or unmet
• The most direct path to peace is through self-connection
• Choice is internal
• All human beings have the capacity for compassion
• Human beings enjoy giving
• Human beings meet needs through interdependent relationships
• Our world offers abundant resources for meeting needs
• Human beings change

• Open-Hearted Living
  • Self-compassion
  • Expressing from the heart
  • Receiving with compassion
  • Prioritizing connection
  • Beyond “right” and “wrong”
• Choice, Responsibility, Peace
  • Taking responsibility for our feelings
  • Taking responsibility for our actions
  • Living in peace with unmet needs
  • Increasing capacity for meeting needs
  • Increasing capacity for meeting the present moment
• Sharing Power (Partnership)
  • Caring fully for everyone’s needs
  • Increasing capacity for needs-based sharing of resources
  • Protective use of force

The 2 Parts and 4 Components of NVC

The Practice of NonViolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a simple method for clear, empathic communication consisting of four steps: Stating observations, then feelings, then needs, then requests. NVC aims to find a way for all present to get what really matters to them without the use of guilt, humiliation, shame. It is useful for resolving conflicts, connecting with others, and living in a way that is conscious, present, and attuned to the genuine, living needs of yourself and others

4 Part NVC Process - PDF

State the observations that are leading you to feel the need to say something. These should be purely factual observations, with no component of judgment or evaluation.

State the feeling that the observation is triggering in you. Or, guess what the other person is feeling, and ask. Naming the emotion, without moral judgment, enables you to connect in a spirit of mutual respect and cooperation. Perform this step with the aim of accurately identifying the feeling that you or the other person are experiencing in that moment, not with the aim of shaming them for their feeling or otherwise trying to prevent them from feeling as they do.

State the need that is the cause of that feeling. Or, guess the need that caused the feeling in the other person, and ask. When our needs are met, we have happy, positive feelings; when they are not met, we have negative feelings. By tuning into the feeling, you can often find the underlying need. Stating the need, without morally judging it, gives you both clarity about what is alive in you or the other person in that moment.

Make a concrete request for action to meet the need just identified. Ask clearly and specifically for what you want right now, rather than hinting or stating only what you don't want.

• NVC-UK - Feelings Inventory
• cnvc.org - Feelings Inventory

• AFFECTIONATE: compassionate, friendly, loving, open hearted, sympathetic, tender, warm
• ENGAGED: absorbed, alert, curious, engrossed, enchanted, entranced, fascinated, interested, intrigued, involved, spellbound, stimulated
• HOPEFUL: expectant, encouraged, optimistic
• CONFIDENT: empowered, open, proud, safe, secure
• EXCITED: amazed, animated, ardent, aroused, astonished, dazzled, eager, energetic, enthusiastic, giddy, invigorated, lively, passionate, surprised, vibrant
• GRATEFUL: appreciative, moved, thankful, touched
• INSPIRED: amazed, awed, wonder
• JOYFUL: amused, delighted, glad, happy, jubilant, pleased, tickled
• EXHILARATED: blissful, ecstatic, elated, enthralled, exuberant, radiant, rapturous, thrilled
• PEACEFUL: calm, clear headed, comfortable, centered, content, equanimous, fulfilled, mellow, quiet, relaxed, relieved, satisfied, serene, still, tranquil, trusting
• REFRESHED: enlivened, rejuvenated, renewed, rested, restored, revived

• AFRAID: apprehensive, dread, foreboding, frightened, mistrustful, panicked, petrified, scared, suspicious, terrified, wary, worried
• ANNOYED: aggravated, dismayed, disgruntled, displeased, exasperated, frustrated, impatient, irritated, irked
• ANGRY: enraged, furious, incensed, indignant, irate, livid, outraged, resentful
• AVERSION: animosity, appalled, contempt, disgusted, dislike, hate, horrified, hostile, repulsed
• CONFUSED: ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, dazed, hesitant, lost, mystified, perplexed, puzzled, torn
• DISCONNECTED: alienated, aloof, apathetic, bored, cold, detached, distant, distracted, indifferent, numb, removed, uninterested, withdrawn
• DISQUIET: agitated, alarmed, discombobulated, disconcerted, disturbed, perturbed, rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortable, uneasy, unnerved, unsettled, upset
• EMBARRASSED: ashamed, chagrined, flustered, guilty, mortified, self-conscious
• FATIGUE: beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, lethargic, listless, sleepy, tired, weary, worn out
• PAIN: agony, anguished, bereaved, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hurt, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful
• SAD: depressed, dejected, despair, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, forlorn, gloomy, heavy hearted, hopeless, melancholy, unhappy, wretched
• TENSE: anxious, cranky, distressed, distraught, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, irritable, jittery, nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out
• VULNERABLE: fragile, guarded, helpless, insecure, leery, reserved, sensitive, shaky
• YEARNING: envious, jealous, longing, nostalgic, pining, wistful

• Universal Human Needs
• cnvc - Needs Inventory
• Max-Neef Model of Human-Scale Development - p2pfoundation wiki

  Max-Neef classifies the fundamental human needs as: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, recreation (in the sense of leisure, time to reflect, or idleness), creation, identity and freedom. Needs are also defined according to the existential categories of being, having, doing and interacting, and from these dimensions, a 36 cell matrix is developed which can be filled with examples of satisfiers for those needs.

At an early age, most of us were taught to speak and think Jackal. This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately it provokes defensiveness, resistance and counterattack. Giraffe bids us to speak from the heart, to talk about what is going on for us - without judging others. In this idiom, you give people an opportunity to say yes, although you respect no for an answer. Giraffe is a language of requests; Jackal is a language of demands.

• Compassionate Communication

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